Hi. How are you? That's good. Yeah, I'm fine, I just had this really painful walk here - not spiritually or anything just because my shoe really is too tight and I have no idea why I hope my foot isn't growing or something freaky like that, especially if its not going to be uniform because the left one was pain free which makes me wonder why in the hell righty can't just be more like lefty, but I don't want to offend so I wont say anything... Sorry. I'm rambling. I do that when I get nervous. First dates are always awkward. I really shouldn't talk about it though. That makes it more awkward. Oh god. This is all going rapidly downhill. Shit. Now I've cursed it. Let's start over?
Things will ease up once we have a drink. I hope. That's an attempt at humor, by the by. Oh, you got it... how come you didn't laugh? Hey, if you think this is awkward, wait till we kiss at the end of the night! No I know its not going to happen, thank-you, I was just trying to lighten the mood. Well it's not my fault this wine is only 10% alcohol and this restaurant doesn't allow intravenous gin. What do you mean I'm not funny; you've only known me for all of ten fucking minutes, and I said I was nervous. Fuck.
Well I will sulk if I want too, and yes I'm aware that it's a shitty thing to do on a first date but CHRIST, you're so uptight. No I didn't mean that, and you're right it is judgmental, but I'm just frustrated because this is going so poorly and... Well this is a record I've never had a date walk out before the food arrived, still, save a few quid! Again humor, again no laugh. Up. Tight. Yeah, Good-Bye to you too then! FUCK. This is about the worst date ever. SEE YOU NEXT SATURDAY THEN???
Something to remember me by
-D
P.S. Aren't I kind to leave you a gift after making me pay for the wine?
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